My Best Teaching Is One-on-One

一対一が僕のベスト

Of course, I team teach and do special lessons, etc.

当然、先生方と共同レッスンも、特別レッスンの指導もします。

But my best work in the classroom is after the lesson is over --
going one-on-one,
helping individual students with their assignments.

しかし、僕の一番意味あると思っている仕事は、講義が終わってから、
一対一と
個人的にその課題の勉強を応援することです。

It's kind of like with computer programs, walking the client through hands-on.
The job isn't really done until the customer is using the program.

まあ、コンピュータプログラムにすると、得意先の方に出来上がった製品を体験させるようなことと思います。
役に立たない製品はまだ製品になっていないと同様です。

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Ashamed to be human

Thinking more about the wars now being fought in courtrooms and Congress in the name of "intellectual property", in a society of plenty, where there should be no need to constrain the free human soul with such legal fictions, I am ashamed to call this planet my home.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Tech Companies too Big to Fail

Another epiphany while I was exercising this morning --

If a company claims it's too big to fail, what they are really claiming is that they are too big to risk being allowed to fail.

In other words, too big to have to put up with the normal viscicitudes of the market.

If they are so big, why do they need our help? (If big is such a good thing ...)

No, I'm not thinking about the banks and the American auto makers today. Lots of other industries are feeling the pains of too much of the wrong kind of big.

What is the wrong kind of big?

It's when you use your influence to your own advantage.

For example, it's when use money and connections to force changes in the law to protect yourself from all the little people who won't do what you want.

And it's when you use your ill-gotten patents to pervert the courts and make them them your battlefield in your wars of attrition.

Let's be straight. If you are looking at the market place as your battlefield and not thinking there's something wrong here, can you be sure you aren't already too big in your own mind?

Monday, January 9, 2012

Being human is so confusing.

[This is part of a meta-thread on Love and Romance.]

Being human is so confusing.

Some people are raised with the assumption that dance is foreplay. That kind of assumption makes it hard for men to dance with men, or women to dance with women, without people feeling perverted.

When I was young, there was an undercurrent in the popular literature/culture around West Texas, that physical interaction with other people was implicitly sexual. It made it hard to talk about rape as a crime of violence, because violence itself was sexual.
What do you mean, crime of violence, not passion? Violence is passion. Passion is violent.
I thought at the time that it was something that we were brought up with. If one is taught when young, that physical interaction is always sexual, it's hard to untangle sex and violence.

There was also a similar undercurrent that tenderness was a sexual emotion.

But if one is taught that the only "real" love is the kind that makes babies, one is at a loss to explain friendship.

I have since observed that the confusion is not simply intellectual.

The various systems in the unborn baby must go through a process called differentiation, or the organs never form. I read somewhere that, in many cases, the differentiation is not complete at birth. In particular, the circulatory, lymphatic, and endocrine systems tend to remain tangled, even in adults.

And a light came on. The understanding came a little late, but looking back I see that my own systems were still tangled up until sometime after I was married. (Still aren't completely untangled.)

I had a hard time in social situations when I was a teenager precisely because my adrenalin and hormone systems would kick into gear at the same time. Where the psychiatrists talk about fight-or-flight, I found other stimulations present when I was under stress. Some of those felt sexual in nature, which was embarrassing to me.

With experience, the stimuli have mostly sorted themselves out. I couldn't talk with girls about almost anything at all when I was around twelve to fourteen, because my system was charged with feelings that I had been taught I must not let loose. Physical exercise was often difficult for similar reasons. Answering the teachers' questions in class was sometimes difficult for the exact same reasons.

Learning to run longer than a few hundred yards at a stretch helped me straighten some of those out, although I would find myself fighting with a variety of confusing stimuli after about five minutes on pace. Taking modern dance classes at college was even more help. Dating helped, too, not to burn the hormones off, but to help me sort out which stimuli were real and which were artifacts of the tangling.

Dropping out of college for six or seven years to make an attempt on the OS challenge that Linus Torvalds finally succeeded on might have been another of the things that helped me get untangled.

Believing that the systems could be straightened out was essential. That belief is derived from my belief in the teachings of Jesus -- repentance.

(And repentance, itself, can be really confusing.)

[Update: 001: 20120109.0925]

So I woke up this morning about five, to exercise, and I realized that I left something unsaid that probably needs to be said.

I never knew anyone who had the systems untangled during their teens. Near as I can tell, it's a life-long pursuit for most of us.

And, I guess, one more thing I should say, since I don't have time to make another blog today, getting things untangled will help us accept and be accepted in society better, but it does not make us conform to any particular social norms. We all have talents, and having talents requires non-conformance, and part of the business of living is learning to use those talents well instead of running from them.

In fact, part of getting untangled seems to involve first accepting yourself as you are at the moment, for the moment. Once you have done that, you can get a good start on the day. And I will have to continue this sometime.

[end-update 001]

Sunday, January 8, 2012

What is love?

[This is part of a meta-thread on Love and Romance.]

One of the big hits by the band Foreigner was a song called, "I Wan to Know What Love Is." They made a lot of mileage out of the line, but there was a hidden assumption in the lyrics, that the singer would know it when he saw it.

A lot of philosophers have also got a lot of mileage from the question. My teachers in high school spent a not-insignificant amount of time on it.

Sometime during high school, I developed a simple formulation that seemed to work for me.

Love was constructive and hate was destructive.

I think one of my teachers asked me about passion, and I kind of ignored the question.

Another word that caught my attention back then was "intercourse". Without some modifier, it seemed to be understood to mean "sexual intercourse". But there are many kinds of intercourse.

Financial intercourse is not prostitution. Or, I guess I should say that prostitution is not the only kind of financial intercourse. Social intercourse is not a euphemism for sex orgies, or, at least, it shouldn't be. Political intercourse is not ...

Oh, never mind. Look it up if you don't believe me. Dealings, communications, interchange, interactions, relations.

Relations.

Well, if I could use the word "intercourse" without being misunderstood, love is "constructive, or positive intercourse", and hate is "destructive, or negative intercourse."

But something kind of sticks out here.

There is a confusion about love, too. There have been many people, including famous political and social leaders, and philosophers, who seem to have this idea that love is always sexual.

My purpose in this blog is to tell you that is not the case. Pardon my turn of phrase here, but you don't have to screw everyone and everything that you love.


Love is desire, yes, but the kind of love that Jesus teaches us is the desire for the welfare of the other person.

You don't have to be in or under control of someone else to love.

Passion is not the love that Jesus teaches, and the Passion that Jesus suffered is not the same as the passion that causes abuse and failed relationships and crimes. Jesus voluntarily assumed the burdens of our sins. That is anything but passive.

So, if there is confusion, what is the cause?

Love vs. Power

[This is part of a meta-thread on Love and Romance.]

One summer while I was a student at Brigham Young University, my roommate, my neighbor, and I hung around with a very statuesque young sophomore and her roommates.

Once, while we were riding up into the canyon together to go moose spotting (Great excuse for a hike!) this young lady mentioned something she said her mother had told her.

Power is the basis of human relationships.

I didn't like the idea. I'm always a little slow on the uptake, and that was no exception, so I think I just said, hmm. But it conflicted with a number of things that I believe.

I've thought about that idea on and off a bit, and I have decided that many people really believe that. In fact, I think that many people confuse certain kinds of interpersonal power struggles for love.

Power is an important element of relationships, I'll grant that. Self-control is a kind of power, without which relationships can quickly become destructive.

Moreover, if there is an imbalance of power, where one person is always at a disadvantage to the other, the relationship tends not to be very satisfying to either. The one who believes him/herself in control may get a false sense of satisfaction, but there also remains an emptiness, a lack of fulfillment.

If you think you're powerless, it's hard to maintain good relationships. And if you think you must always be in charge, it's equally hard.

Service is a much better principle for relationships than power.

And, of course, love is the proper foundation of relationships. Even God, rather than force us to believe and behave, loves us enough to give us a redeemer in His Son, Jesus Christ.

(Which kind of begs a question -- what is love?)

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Programmer's High

My son built his own BBS in perl. Got it working somewhat yesterday. Not on my server, on one of those ad-supported "free" servers.

家の息子は自分でウェブ上の掲示板を作っていて、昨日動かせた。ぼくのサーバーにやらせたわけではなく、広告の利益で営業していて、どこかのタダでやらせてくれるサーバーです。

He was high.

とんだ気分だったようです。少し酔っ払ったように思われるほど。

I realized something. Programming is kind of like a drug. When things don't work, you can get really low. When things do work, there's a rush of something (adrenalin? endorphins?), a natural high.

気がついたことがあります。プログラム製作は少し薬物のような影響があるかもしれません。巧く行けないときは落ち込む。ちゃんと動いてくれる時は、アドレナリンか、エンドルフィンか、何らかの自然な好い気分。

You could say this is like just about anything you do -- failures get you down, successes make you feel good. (Actually, I know people who get up for failures, but that's not really the same thing.)

まあ、どんな仕事もこうなると言えるでしょう。失敗しては落ち込んだり、成功するとハイになったりする。(知り合いの中に、失敗の性で我慢を起こす人もいるけど、それはちょっと違う話と思います。)

But getting a program to work requires no outside approval. The computer's functioning the way you intended is sufficient praise.

しかし、プログラムをやっと動かせるときは人の評価が要りません。コンピュータがちゃんと動くのが充分な賞賛になってしまう。

This effect also feeds your ego. This is probably why programmers are known for their hubris.

その影響うぬぼれることもある。これがため、プログラマーたちが自信たっぷりに知られるかもわからない。

This natural high may also feed into the unreasoning belief that, if you can just get this one working, you'll be able to get the computer to do anything you want.

この自然酔いが、今作っているプログラムを、ちゃんと動いてもらうことさえできたら、コンピュータに何でもやってもらえると思わせる気分を追い込む原因となるかもしれません。

Okay, this is not really all that big a deal, perhaps, not all that different from other things you can be successful at.

さて。本当にすごいものをさとった訳でもないでしょう。他の成功とそれほど変わらないでしょう。

Or is it?

かな?

Friday, December 30, 2011

Christmas vs. Christianity

Some of my friends wanted to know -- this is a simplified explanation.
友達の質問に答えて、簡単にお説明します。

"Christmas" is made up of two words, "Christ" and "Mass".
クリスマスと言っても、2語でできた言葉です。その語彙は「キリスト」(Christ) 及び「ミサ」(mass) です。

Christ is Jesus Christ, of course. (In Japanese, "Kirisuto".)
「キリスト」はもちろん、イエス・キリストのことです。
SLC Christus, Barbaricino 2008


Mass of Annunciation, Adrian Cozma 2008, GFDL
Mass, or "Misa" is the primary part of certain Christian solemn religious ceremonies.
「ミサ」 と言うのは、典礼(てんれい)と言っても、キリスト教の、ある厳かな儀式(おごそかなぎしき)の中心部です。英語では「マス」と言います。
"Mass" can also refer to the festivals which are celebrated along with the ceremonies.
引いて、その儀式と同じ時に祝っているお祭りのことも「マス」と言えます。

You might expect Christmas to turn out as "Kirisuto Matsuri" in Japanese, but historically it didn't work that way.

考えたら、「クリスマス」よりは「キリスト祭り」と言っても良かったぐらいかも知れませんが、歴史上ではそうならなかった。



Nativity, Charles Poerson 1667


For many Christians, Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ.
多くのキリスト教徒にとって、クリスマスはイエス・キリストの誕生(たんじょう)を祝う祝日です。
We don't really know when Jesus was born.
じつは、イエス様の本当の誕生日についてはよくわからないことがあります。
Some churches celebrate His birth on the 8th of January.

教会によっては、その誕生日を一月八日にします。


There are some historians who say that the date for Christmas was chosen to coincide with, or replace, winter festivals of the non-Christians.
ある歴史家によって、クリスマスの日にちはキリスト教徒ではなかった人々の冬祭りに合わせて選んだものであると考えています。あるいは、冬祭りを置き換えるものとしてできた、と。